Kal, Male, 36

	- Narrator, disaster survivor and castaway

	- 6'1, 190lbs, straight, shoulder-length dark-brown hair

Bailey, Female, 13

	- Disaster survivor and castaway

	- 5'2, 110lbs, golden-brown tanned skin, shoulder-length light yellow-brown sun-streaked hair

Keekah, Female, 14

	- daughter of Manu, sister of Hakee and Mie, cousin of Poln

	- 5'3, 125lbs, mocha-brown skin, waist-length mostly-straight black hair

Amy, Female, 15

	- Stowaway from California

	- 5'6, 115lbs, pale skin, shoulder-length straight black hair

We were all up before dawn to have a hot breakfast of onions, squash and peas that I quickly cooked in a bit of fat from the fish. Keekah and Bailey packed up three big bags of supplies to take to Gale, including a bottle of rum. Amy shuffled down to the water to void her bowels and urinate, and Keekah emerged from Hakee's shelter holding the stone phallus, a big grin on her face.

“I take Hakee her man. She laugh when I tell her we used it. Big laugh, I know.” She tucked it into one of the bags and sat for a moment.

I asked her, “are those common, Keekah? The 'man,' I mean.”

She nodded and said, “yes. When we become women, when we are fifteen, it is a gift given by our mother. It is to use for when we have no man, so that we may prepare ourselves for him.”

“So you are supposed to use it to break your hymen?”

“Um... hi-man... ummm...”

“Like when I entered you the first time. You still had a hymen that I had to break to get inside you deeper.” I slipped a finger between Keekah's labia to demonstrate what I meant.

“Ohh... yes... that is why. It hurts and we don't want the man to hurt us. It should be pleasurable, so, for those woman who still have one... they use the 'man' to break it, like you say. Some already have a man, so they don't need the 'man' to do it, but the mother still gives it to her anyway, so that she always has a 'man' when she wants one.”

I just shook my head and smiled. The Hahonokoans had some intriguing rituals and customs, many of them involving sex. I shouldn't have been surprised that one involved a mother giving her daughter a stone phallus so she could bust her own cherry and give herself pleasure.

“Ok... yeah, that explains it. So Hakee... has she had a live man before?”

“Umm... not before I left. She picky. Maybe she did after, I not know. She sexy, like me. I know men look at her. You look at her and want her. I know this.”

She grinned and Bailey laughed, the thirteen-year old added, “Kal never misses a chance to look at women, that's for sure. Hakee is very pretty, I've even looked at her... like yesterday, when she undressed. She's very pretty, like you, Keekah.”

Amy walked back to the fire, wearing a blue top and stretch pants that were baggy on her thin frame. Bailey and Keekah put on clothes as well for the hike through the woods, and made a big show of slowly covering their breasts and privates before kissing me, then kissing Amy.

The pale girl broke into tears, and I felt bad for her. She sobbed as she hugged Bailey, then Keekah, whispered to them, “don't be gone long... I'll miss you...” It was clear that Amy's security rested greatly on not losing those she'd come to care about, who had come to care about her. Bailey's eyes dripped a bit as she felt Amy's sadness, whispered kind words in the teen's ear.

It took a bit but the duo finally broke away and headed West down the beach toward the stream, leaving Amy in my arms, softly crying against my chest. I talked to her softly. “Shhh... They'll be back this evening. It's ok, part of being here on the island, the garden is really important, they'll be back soon.”

She tried to compose herself, eyes red and tears running down her cheeks and onto my chest. “I know... I know... just... just got used to it... yesterday, really... just go used to them being here and knowing I would see them... I miss them already. Don't leave me alone today, ok? Please... don't leave me alone...”

“I'm here, not going anywhere. I do need to go fill water and catch us some food. Maybe you'll be up for the walk up to the stream in a bit?”

She nodded against my chest and threw her arms around my neck, kissed me strongly. Her tears washed over our lips as our tongues danced together. It was a needful kiss, a desperate embrace. Amy had lost so much in her life and the pain of it was still very new and very real to her. I understood her state of mind better than she realized, and I was careful not to push her to overcome it too quickly. As the days went on, she'd get better at feeling safe, at accepting that she was stronger than she believed in that moment.

I hugged her close for several moments, noticing that, although she was still very thin, it was clear we'd reversed the direction. Her body held a weight that hadn't been there before. She was eating well, and I suspected she'd put on a pound or two in her short time with us. I'd made sure she got as many snacks and high-calorie treats as we had, including some of the remaining chocolates and peanut butter. It was working, and even as I felt her ribs through her skin, Amy's body was slowly recovering the look of someone heading the right way.

“Kal... do you think I'm crazy? I mean... crying... mopping around... panicking... I feel... I dunno... everything is out of control. All the time... I don't know how to deal with it.”

“I think,” I said, kissing her cheek and running my hands down her sides, “that you are handling it all much better than you think you are. Seriously. Look at everything you've gone through in the past few weeks. You lost your family, survived gunfights and terror, near starvation, escaped and survived when you had to search for food and water, survived almost two weeks in a dark, frightening boat with little to go on, and got thrown here with a bunch of people you didn't know, and didn't know if you could trust.”

I hugged her, continued, “given all that... that's a lot, Sweetie... Really, given all that, you're doing just fine. It's only been a few days that things might be said to be normal. Just a few days since you were on that boat, shivering and miserable and starving. Look at you now. Getting stronger, eating well, loved. Don't be hard on yourself. Give it time. It may take a lot of it before you start to feel you are in control again. And you will, just give it time, try to be patient with yourself. You've been through a lot, and all that is not so easily forgotten.”

She held me a moment more before pulling back a bit, looked me in the eye, her tears finally run dry. “Kal... I'm confused about things... with you, and Bailey... Keekah... You love them, right? How can you love more than one person?”

I moved us closer to the fire and poured big cups of water before replying. “Well... did you love your parents?”

“Yes.”

“Both of them?”

“Of course.”

“I suppose in a way, it is a lot like that. Your love for your mother doesn't make your love for your dad, for a sibling, for a good friend, any less, right? Love isn't something you have in a set quantity and have to ration out. It's just the way you feel about someone and all of us... well, ok, most of us, have the ability to really love many people.

“So... I fell for Bailey when we were stuck here together, alone. We grew so close, and she became my reason for waking up each day and keeping us alive. And then we met Keekah and it was easy to love her too. She's so sweet and intelligent, she saved us in more ways than one, and given that the three of us needed to be close and care for each other, it just was natural that both Bailey and I would find that we loved her too.”

Amy thought about that a moment, finally said, “I guess that makes sense... I could see loving more than one person... but isn't that hard? I mean... isn't Bailey jealous of Keekah? Or... uh... I guess me? How can she be ok with you... you know... being with Keekah... and Gale! Doesn't she wish you were just with her?”

“Well, she's the best one to talk to about what she wants. All I know is that Bailey understands me, and has come to agree that polyamory, that's the term for strong, caring relationships with more than two people, that polyamorous connections are powerful and very fulfilling. You find love in multiple people. When she first started to have those feelings for Keekah, I think it was easy to understand mine as well. She loved me deeply, and adding Keekah to our relationship did nothing to change that.”

I took a long drink of water. “Sure, there are sometimes jealousies and sometimes we have situations that are complicated. But we talk, a lot. About what we feel, what we want, what we need from each other. Bailey's love for me is central to our lives, and mine for her, but that doesn't limit the love we can have for others. In fact, I think it makes our love that much stronger because we have such a shared connection to other people. It's a lot like friendships. You can have several strong ones without risking any single one. The difference, I guess, is the intimacy. The sexual aspects. Mastering that isn't always easy, but Bailey and I... and Keekah and Gale too... we found a balance that works really great for us... and now... and now... I think you know you are becoming closer to us, as well, and...”

Amy broke in, “but... Kal... Bailey is thirteen. I'm fifteen... it... it just feels strange... you're my dad's age... I'd always been taught that... that this was just wrong. That I couldn't feel things for you because of your age, that what you and Bailey have is... just wrong.”

I nodded and replied. “I know. I was taught the same and until I washed up here, I would have agreed with you. But life isn't always black and white and I don't think you can control who and what you are attracted to. Before Bailey, I never saw anyone so young in that way, never considered it as a possibility and would have been certain it was abusive and wrong to have such a relationship... but...”

I looked out to see dolphins splashing off the shore, pointed to them and continued, “this place is different. Those 'wrongs' were defined 'out there' for good reason. To prevent abuse, to let maturing teens grow up without those pressures. 'Out there' it makes sense. Here... here, pressures are different. Bailey and I needed each other. Strongly. It makes both of us stronger. We were better at surviving, having our love to support us. It made it ok to face each day and the challenges it brought because, even though it was just the two of us at first, at least we had each other. Out of that came the need to be intimate, and for a while I had doubts, felt shame, worried that I was taking advantage of Bailey. But now... now I know different. Context matters, and in this isolated place in the world, we have to make our own rules, judge our morals by what we know now, by what we need to do to survive and thrive despite the challenges.”

Amy let that sink in for a while. “Do you love me, Kal?”

My heart thumped its answer, but I took my time to consider how to respond. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I don't know if I can answer that. I just do. Bailey does, too.”

“Is it because I'm weak? I'm pathetic, I know... why would you love me?”

“I dunno. Love isn't something you really think about until it happens. I guess... I guess in some ways I love you because I know you need love. So... I guess maybe some of that is true... but I think it goes deeper. I connected with you, I love your smile, love that you worry about things like this.”

I kissed her forehead. “Before coming here, I never fell for that. Kate was strong willed, very good at living life her own way. It was different. I loved her because I loved her, and she was never one that I would say 'needed love.' But maybe it was the same, really. You... you're bright. You're strong willed, too, you'll see that soon. You have a lot of guts and from you... from you I feel love too. I don't know... I suppose I never really stopped to think about it, I just feel it. For Bailey, Keekah, even Gale. And now... for you, too.”

She was silent, bit her lip, watched the dolphins turn and splash slowly to the East. “I guess I know what you mean. You saved me and I felt close to you that first day. I needed help and you helped me... but I don't want to be weak. I don't want to need help. I don't want you to love me just because you saved me. It makes me feel... like it isn't fair, I guess. I dunno...”

“There you go, proving me right again. That takes guts to acknowledge, to admit to yourself, and to me. That just makes me feel love for you even stronger, makes me even more attracted to you.”

“You're attracted to me.” It wasn't a question, but it turned over in her mind a moment before she continued. “Like... like how we kissed and that felt wonderful... you... what happens next, Kal?”

“We grow our love for each other by living here. By surviving here. By being close friends, and caring for each other. By letting Bailey and Keekah get to know you and want you to be close to them. There's no force for things. We want what we want and I don't know how we choose that. But, when things happen... only if it is right for everyone. That make sense?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I suppose. I... I've never had a real boyfriend. Or girlfriend, or whatever... this is... I'm overwhelmed, I guess. Am I... am I your girlfriend?”

“If you want to look at it that way, I think that's alright. I really don't draw hard definitions of what we are to each other. I like to think that the way we interact is more important than labels. You know I love you, and Bailey loves you, even if we're just starting to know each other. If by 'girlfriend' you mean that I care about you and you care about me... then, yes... that label fits.”

“I mean more like... the kissing and...” she blushed, “maybe more than that. I dunno.”

“More than that is always fun to think about and if it happens, if that's what we all want... then why stop those expressions of our feelings, right? It feels good, it connects us deeper, and here, where we have to really strongly hold to what brings us joy... I don't know how that can be wrong if you want it.”

“I've never... you know... done anything... with anyone... other than kissing, really. I... I don't know what I want.”

I took her hand. “Don't worry, what you want matters and if you aren't sure, there's no reason to rush it, ok? Whatever our relationship looks like, all that matters is the love, right? Everything else is just what we work out on top of that. On top of the love.”

“Do you think we'll ever go back? Ever get off this island and go back to normal?”

I thought a moment quietly. “I don't think about that much anymore. This is home to me now. The real world, whatever it looks like now... I don't know if there's a place there for me anymore. I don't want to leave this place. I did once. Powerfully, but after many months here, after I've gained so much from Bailey and Keekah and Gale, now that I have you and the Hahonokoans to think about... this is 'normal' to me now. I don't know that I want it any other way.”

She drew her knees to her chest and considered my thoughts. “I still want to go back. I want to find my parents... if they are alive... I don't know that I'll ever find living like this 'normal.' But I guess... for now... well, this is really pretty good, isn't it? I've been through worse, I suppose, and this... this is much better than all that.”

“Yes, it is. I hope it is always that way, and if you really want to go back, I'm sure we will find a way to make that happen. Right now... that's just not a possibility, and given what little we know about what's going on in the world, here may be the best place to settle in and wait it out. See what happens later on. Maybe by then we'll look around and figure out what to do, eh?”

She smiled thinly and nodded. “You're right. Yeah. I... I'm feeling better today. Can we try getting the water thing done you talked about?”

Amy did look like she was gaining strength. She no longer walked with a weak shuffle but lifted her feet and paced normally. Still too thin, but I could see that she was determined to stop being a drain on our resources and wanted to start contributing.

“I'll get the raft and put it next to the boat. I'll toss you the empty jugs, think you can help me get them in the raft?”

For the next few minutes, I tossed plastic jugs to her and she placed them into the raft. After handing her a broad-rimmed hat to cover her pale features from the sun, I showed her how we floated the raft to the East, towing it as we walked. Amy stayed silent as we made our way to the stream.

The water was flowing strongly after the storms of the previous days, and I showed her how to fill the jugs. After a couple, it was clearly too much for her to lift the jugs for long, so I kept her filling them while I moved the heavy containers back to the beached raft.

She did good and after an hour or so, we had finished our task and walked the raft back to camp. Amy rested in the shade while I offloaded the jugs and stacked them neatly in the tree-line. She surprised me when she asked, “so what next? I'm feeling pretty good, still.”

I smiled, passed her a cup of water, “well, I'm already getting hungry. Feel like lunch soon?”

“Sure. Definitely.”

“Then I'll teach you how to crab. Simple really, doesn't take too much effort, just patience. Probably my favorite thing to eat on the island.”

For the next couple of hours Amy and I munched on dried bananas while we tossed our strings out into the surf, bits of clam tied to the ends. The fishing was slow, we only managed five small crabs over the time, but toward the end, as we were readying to head back to the rouse the fire, we pulled in three big ones. They were spiny, unlike the crabs we normally caught, and had really nice big claws.

Lunch was ready just moments after I dumped them in the boiling water, and together, Amy and I ate hot crab meat and shared a cup of tea. Finally full, Amy let out a long, vibrating belch then laughed and covered her mouth, said, “sorry!”

I laughed, belched less impressively, then sat back in my chair, considering what was left for the day. It was early afternoon and the heat was beginning to stifle us as the wind died down. A thin line of dark clouds could be seen to the West, but it wasn't moving our direction quickly, if at all.

Amy looked tired when she asked, “so what next?”

“Well, I am going to break out the poles and get a mess of fish to start smoking. Don't want your exposed skin to burn anymore today.” She already had bright red marking her arms and ankles which had been uncovered. “You've done great, and I really appreciate the help. Don't want to push it too much. Feel like reading?”

Amy nodded and I fetched Island of the Blue Dolphins for her from the boat storage. She climbed the deck and laid down in the cabin, leaving the door open in the afternoon heat.

For the next couple of hours, I caught nothing at all. It was the driest fishing I'd had to date. Nothing so much as nibbled at my line. I tried bits of shellfish, a small chunk of crab carcass, even a small patch of dried lamb. Nothing worked.

Then I saw the fins just off shore. Sharks, at least two of them. I supposed that might have something to do with the lack of feeding fish. They circled slowly, fins sliding up and down from view. They made their way to the East and disappeared from sight. The dolphins returned almost immediately and followed them to the East. Bites hit my line and the next hour had me landing a dozen little sardine-like fish with mouths large for their size. Two plump silver-streaked beauties joined them, and I soon had them cleaned and drying in the early evening sun. I reserved one of the larger fish for supper, and left the filets soaking in a light brine in the shade.

I checked on Amy. She was napping, the book collapsed on her chest. I felt a bit sleepy myself, so I slid in beside her over the covers, the temperature too warm for them. She stirred as I laid down and rolled to me, moved the book to the side, and took me in her arms. Her leg passed over mine and she used her whole body to hold me close.

We didn't speak, but our lips found each other's quickly, and for long moments Amy and I shared our bodies in a loving embrace. I felt her need for me, for the love in my arms and my legs and my lips. I wondered what she'd thought about what we'd spoken of earlier that day, whether she wanted to be in love, to be loved, by me.

She whispered when we finally broke our kiss, “Kal... I... I want more... I thought about it... a lot... when I read the book... Oh, she was so alone! I never want that again. It feels so hard, so horrible. I want to... to be with you... I... I'm not ready... for all of it, I think... Not yet... Will... I want to be touched. Everywhere. Can we? Will you touch me?”

I let my hands answer and found myself leaning over her, kissing her again, my fingers moving down her body to her covered stomach. Amy trembled as I touched her, nervous, anxious, wanting. I kissed her neck and held her head to mine. She rose a bit and I slipped off her shirt, let my hands find her tender flesh and caressed her soft young breasts. She sighed as I lightly stroked the undersides of each tit, let my palm brush past her hard, dark nipples.

I moved up and down her chest, her stomach, along her sides, teased her neck, her cheek, felt her nipples throb with each touch. I looked into her eyes, her mouth agape and panting, saw that she was both enjoying and a bit scared of what we were doing. I took it very slowly, let her body tell me when she wanted more.

The heat of the day and the stillness in the cabin had her skin glistening with sweat. I trailed my hand over her tender flesh, loved the way her pale complexion flushed as her arousal grew strong. When her back began to arch slightly, her panting heavier, I let my fingers move to the edge of her pants, asked her quietly, “do you want me to touch you down there?”

Her voice was a whisper, “yes.”

I pulled down her pants as she rose up, pulling her butt off of the mattress. The damp pants slid off easily and the smell of Amy's genitals washed through me. She was horny, wet, highly aroused. She smelled a bit earthy, briny, even sweet. I slowly ran my hands up and down her legs, careful to only slowly approach her clenched and trembling thighs. I inhaled her aroma as I touched her gently, savored the beautiful way her pubic hairs formed a tight little triangle on her Mons.

She was panting heavier as I laid back beside her and brought my lips to hers. She moaned into my mouth as my fingers danced across her stomach and lightly grazed her dark hairs below. I asked her, “yes?” as my hand rested inches from her most private flesh.

She breathed, “yes,” and I let my fingers slowly move across her pubes and slowly separate her pale thighs. Her legs parted slowly and I rubbed her inner thighs gently, the sweat making my hand slide easily over her smooth skin.

Amy moaned into my mouth again as my fingers first touched her labia. She was slick, and I trailed my hand down and over her sex before cupping it softly, kissing her as I did so. She arched again and her moan vibrated into my body.

My fingers slid up and down her slippery flesh, her dark labia so tender and warm. Amy cried out as I grazed her hard clit, the nub large and fleshy and straining to be touched. I slipped a finger between her lips and found her vagina wet and creamy and wonderfully tight. I pushed in, felt her hymen inside, and began to slowly, gently, finger her.

Amy's hips rose and fell with my movements, I kissed her neck as she breathed heavily, moaning softly. One arm wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me against her, the other thrown up over her head, sliding back and forth as she rocked.

I fingered her pussy carefully, not wanting to break through her barrier. With my palm I ground down on her clit, felt her body stiffen with my finger inside her very tight virgin hole. The movement of my finger between her legs and my palm over her clit had her writhing, her hips rolling, humping up against my touch.

I sucked in her nipple for the first time, took her tight, salty flesh between my lips. Amy cried out, held my head to her chest, and came. “uuuuuhhhh... uuuuhhhh... UUUUHH... UUUUUHHHHHH... UUUHHHHH... UUUH... UHH... UUUUUHHH...” She shuddered as her legs clamped around my hand, holding my finger inside her tight little hole. I kept sucking on her young, soft tit while she orgasmed, loved the way goosebumps raised up around her nipples and across her stomach.

She slowly relaxed as her orgasm washed through her. Amy panted, sighed soft 'ohhh's into my ear. Her body trembled still, her flesh sweating heavily. I slowly withdrew my finger from the fifteen-year old's vagina and rose up to her face. Her eyes were closed, her mouth open, her skin flushed and sticky.

I relaxed beside her, aware for the first time that my penis was rigid, pressed against her thigh, drooling precum onto her pale skin. I made no move to satisfy myself, instead focused on Amy's pleasure in that moment.

We lay together a while, sweating, her breathing slowly becoming regular again. I kissed her cheek and whispered, “I love you, Amy.” She said nothing, just lay still, still trembling occasionally, her eyes closed. I finally suggested, “pretty warm in here... want to join me in the surf to cool off?”

She nodded lightly and I stood, offered her my hand. She opened her eyes and ignored my gesture, rose on her own, legs shaking a bit as she did. We left the cabin and walked to the surf, gliding in and sinking below the cooling waves. Amy still said nothing, and soon the look on her face gave me pause.

Tears were in her eyes, and I could tell she was troubled. I whispered, “what is it, Sweetie?”

She sobbed once, got out, “oh... Kal... I... Oh, I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have... Oh, Bailey, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have wanted you to touch me.”

Amy cried and I brought her to me, wrapped her in my arms, said softy, “Amy, dear... shhh... no... no, it's not like that... She knows... she knows... It's ok, really... It's ok...”

“She knows?” she whispered.

“Yes... we talked... She knew we would be alone today and we talked about what might happen. She wanted it, wanted it for you... Really... she wants you to be happy, to be loved, to do what we did... You'll see, when she gets back later...”

Amy sobbed a moment then quieted. “So... you meant it all, then? That... you can... be with me like that... and Bailey like that... and... I feel so selfish... I didn't mean to want that... I didn't want to hurt Bailey...”

“No hurt at all. No, no... You aren't selfish to want that, to need to feel close like that, to be touched... you needed it... that's ok... really. And Bailey... she knows, ok? She and I talked, like I said, she told me to make sure you were loved that way... if you wanted it... Really... Look at me.” Her head rose and the redness in her eyes made me really feel the conflicting emotions in the teen's mind. “I promise you. This... this was a good thing... A great thing... I loved it, and Bailey... she'll love that you felt good like that... You'll see. I love you, Amy... Love you...”

She held me tight and pressed her lips to mine. I could taste the drying tears on her skin, felt the desire and confusion in her kiss. “Ok...” she whispered, “Ok... because... I felt really guilty... still do... I don't want to be that girl... the one that breaks things... I... I wanted you to touch me... I still do... I'll... I'll talk to Bailey when she gets back... let her know... want her to know... how I feel...”

Amy settled down a bit and I fought back the urge to touch her genitals once more. We'd had a very special moment, one she didn't know how to handle just yet, and I didn't want to force anything despite how good her body felt against mine. We both ignored the fact that my penis pressed against her and cried out for attention.

The afternoon wore on and evening began to set in as we ate supper and talked quietly about Dolphins. Amy loved the book and hoped to finish it the next day. I suggested others she might enjoy, but she reminded me that she promised to read Proust next, so I smiled at that and made a note to get it out of the tub for her.

As dark grew over us, I started to get concerned. Keekah and Bailey were supposed to be back before sunset, but the orange disc slipped first behind a line of clouds, then was lost completely, leaving the two of us huddled around the fire in the chilling air. I told Amy, “wait here a moment, I'm going to walk down and see if they are on their way down the beach.”

She stood and took my hand, said, “I'll come... I don't want to be left alone right now...”

“Ok.”

We headed down to the West, holding hands, fingers caressing each other in reassuring ways. We walked halfway to the stream before it was obvious that the girls were not in sight. I grew even more concerned.

Amy held my arm, asked, “what do we do?”

“Not much we can do. Maybe they decided to stay the night there, head back in the morning. It's too dark to go look for them right now. Let's just settle in and see what happens tomorrow.” I didn't say out loud the worries I had, but I silently told myself that everything was probably fine and they'd show up in the morning.

Amy and I sat around a small fire while we drank rum. She loosened up a lot, talked about some of her travels and how she met her 'boyfriend' on one of the islands, how she'd always wanted to do more than just kiss him, but as a child of fundamentalist missionaries, she knew it was a sin. I rolled a joint as she talked and opened up even more, describing the bad things she'd done as a child. Stealing candy bars, starting a fight with a neighbor boy over a toy.

She told me how she started masturbating. “I dunno, I just started, you know, playing around... down there. It felt good. I didn't really know what I was doing, think I was eleven... I never really knew it was a sin till my mother caught me and spanked me for it. She said I'd go to hell, that no man would ever want me, that I was dirty and should pray to Jesus for forgiveness... which I did, endlessly. I believed her, tried my best to stop. But I always went back to it. It felt good. I always felt guilt, but it didn't stop me.”

I toked the joint to life and puffed slowly before responding. “Guilt is a powerful thing. It makes us reconsider how we respond the next time, hangs a weight over us that can be a terrible burden. I hate that children are taught that masturbation is evil, dirty, that sex is something to hide and feel shame over. Total bullshit. It's natural. Everyone does it, well, most everyone. It's good for most of us. It makes us feel good, relieves stress, makes us have better control over our sexual desires of other people.”

She took the joint, inhaled and leaned back, said, “I know... I know... you've helped me see all that in just a few days. I still feel guilty, honestly. I don't know how to change that... but... after I talk to Bailey... maybe... maybe we can do more...?”

I smiled and nodded, “whatever makes you happy, I want to do with you. Keep talking to me, to Bailey, about how you feel. We're here for you, you're family now. Well, maybe your family didn't masturbate together, but, uh...”

She laughed and relaxed and before long we were both yawning. Thoughts of Bailey and Keekah rattled my mood, but I did my best to keep it from drawing me into irrational worries. Amy and I slid into bed and for the first time, we cuddled up alone for the night. She was so soft against me, her skin so warm, her breasts tender and lovely pressed into my body. I held her and kissed her lightly until she fell asleep, then I relaxed and tried to do the same. Sleep didn't come easily as my worries for my girls festered, but at some point, I know I finally went under, holding Amy in my arms.